I noticed that for some reason, everything I write in my
journal tends to be the most depressing stuff ever. Seriously, EVER. -___-
Probably because the only time I write things down is when I’m
feeling bad. I guess at the time it helps to get all the chaos in my mind on
paper. But as a result, now every time I look through my journal to read what
I’ve written over the past few months I’m like “WOAAAAAH! Where the happy at?!”
:O
You could sum me up as a hugely over sensitive softie who
worries about everyone and everything, and who cries waaaaay too much. Yes; I
cry in movies, I cry reading books, I cry when I’m mad, I cry when I’m sad-
sometimes, I have absolutely NOOO idea WHY the tears are there. All I can say
is, my tear ducts are rebels and I cannot be held responsible for their silly
actions *sigh*
It sucks the most when you’re trying to argue a point with someone and out of
frustration the waterworks arrive- trust me nobody takes you seriously if you
burst into tears in the middle of an argument, been there. Epic fail. 0_0
Basically things get me down really easily. And right now is
no exception. Lately I’ve been struggling to keep my head up above all the
things I have to do in my life. Handling pressure is not something I do well!
In fact, my instant reaction to things being hard is to curl up in my bed, YouTube,
and ignore everything for as long as I can. Until I can’t do that any longer- then
I just burst into tears. Yet again. (stupid cry baby -_-)
But after 20 years of being this pathetic, I figure it’s time
to toughen up! LOL. Um..easier said than done obviously! But I have so many
regrets in my life that pretty much are a result of my lack of action, and I need
to get myself together if I want to get my life together right? So starting
today, no more wallowing in self-pity and wishing I’d done things different. I’m
actually going to GET THINGS DONE. Well, um, try to ^_~
Insha’allah I keep it up!
Alia took this picture of the view outside our bedroom
window at fajr, and I love it. Have you ever watched the sky when the sun’s
coming out? We’re pretty obsessed with it here at afa bee I tell ya! But Subhanallah
there’s so much beauty in its changing colours as the light bleeds through into
the night sky. Every morning it looks different.
And no matter how hectic life is, in that moment, when the
day’s just emerging, I feel at peace.
So here’s our fajr view with some advice I gave myself in my
journal, incase anyone else is feeling like me right now ^.^
